I’m home alone, sick on a Friday night.
It’s times like this when I wish I had a boyfriend.
“Boyfriend” sounds really fucking ignorant.
Like that Justin Bieber song,
or that fuck buddy teenagers have.
I wish I had a relationship.
I wish I had someone to be with at any moment of the day.
Someone I could bring to weddings, parties, dances, etc.
Someone who would come over when I’m sick and watch movies with me and cuddle.
Someone to lay in my bed with me and sleep, just fucking sleep.
I want to find someone who would listen to my crazy ideas and conspiracies.
I wish I found someone who would like me, because I’m feeling really fucking shitty about myself even though on the outside I say I’m confident.
When I’m by myself I realize how horrible I fucking am…
Who would want me as their partner?
I try and try but I know that there’s no one out there for me.
I want someone who would treat me right, and no one ever does.
I want someone who likes me more than I like them, and that never happens.
I want someone who will kiss me on the forehead, guys these days aren’t into that.
I want some to open the door for me, to ask me out on a date by saying the words “will you go on a date with me?”, to ask me out in a big way, to be a gentleman but do insane things for me…
My standards are high, and I don’t give a shit. I’m not putting them lower.
I don’t want my heart broken.
To that one and only bastard who made me love him, I hate you so much, because it’s been fucking months and you’re all I can think about… and you treated me like shit.
I want to find someone who will let me forget about him.
I am hopeless,
no matter how many guys I talk to or check out…
I don’t give a fuck. They don’t matter.
I want a relationship,
I’m lonely as fuck.